Growing Together

God doesn’t need us to do His work for Him but He invites us to share in His good work.

I used to think of mentoring as an end of life endeavor: after I’d lived, seen and heard it all, I would pour it out on a younger woman. I even prayed to God, “Grow me up to be a woman of wisdom.” I hadn’t yet come to the truth that God’s word is living and active. I wasn’t supposed to wait until I was ready but I was to be made mature.

To whatever degree, mentoring is about my mentoree AND me. As God is refining me, He has put me in a relationship with another woman so that I can continue in my humility and vulnerability and thereby point to the beauty of Christ, embracing His transformational love and grace. Being a mentor keeps me at His feet listening for His voice, reading His word, and conforming myself to His will.

And I have discovered a wonderful aspect of mentoring: this younger woman is sometimes my Ebenezer in the sense that she reminds me of what God has done in my life as I walk with her through hers. I recognize that God alone is able to shepherd, protect, teach, rebuke, encourage and grow my younger sister in Christ into a mighty warrior for His kingdom. We are spurring one another on to love and good works.

So, what’s my point? There is no magical age, no arriving at a perfect moment in time to mentor another brother or sister in Christ. In all honesty, God doesn’t need us to do His work for Him but He invites us to share in His good work. “Grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ” so that not only can you bless another with your service but so that you can be blessed with: greater knowledge and intimacy with Jesus, seeing the transformational power of God in another’s life, and witnessing God’s faithfulness to His children down through the years.

“For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is names, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith – that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.” Ephesians 3:14-21

Imitate Me…

1 Corinthians 11:1 Be imitators of me as I am of Christ.

1 Corinthians 11:1   Be imitators of me as I am of Christ.

Imitate, mimic, copy, watch me and do as I do, be as I am. I am following Christ.  You follow me; I follow Christ, therefore, you follow Christ by following my example.  Paul is so confident in his walk with Jesus that he is willing to say, follow me.

1 Corinthians 4:15-16   For though you have countless guides in Christ, you do not have many fathers.  For I became your father in Christ Jesus through the gospel.  I urge you then, be imitators of me.

Paul clearly draws a line between guide and father.  A guide can lead you through something and point you in the right direction but a father is personally invested.  You are his, he is yours. A father’s care is beyond guide.  It is also, protector, guardian, authority, parent, caregiver and caretaker  – all motivated by love.

Philippians 4:9   Whatever you have learned, received, heard or seen in me – practice these things and the God of peace will be with you.

Paul is saying here, not only observe and learn but put it into practice. Make it your habit to do these things.   And what’s the payoff?  Peace!

So what about you?  As a mentor are you comfortable saying to your students, “Follow me as I follow Jesus?”   Are you living a life worthy of the gospel?  Phil. 1:27-30    If not, then what? Do you dumb down your mentoring to make yourself the standard by saying, “If I am not doing it then I cannot require someone else to do it.” or  are you willing to follow Jesus in a way that you are confident brings honor and glory to God and you would be fully confident saying, “Imitate me as I imitate Christ.”

L.E.N.T.

BEFORE YOU SPEAK CONSIDER L E N T
It is a privilege to be a biblical mentor. Although we aren’t Spiderman the advice his Uncle Ben gave him applies to us as well: “with great power comes great responsibility.” When we have the authority to speak into another’s life it is important to watch our words. As Christians we recognize Lent as a time of remembrance of Christ’s sacrifice and redemption. So the acronym LENT can be useful to check that your words lead the way towards christlikeness in ourselves and our mentoree.
So before you speak check your words and ask:
L : Is it Loving?
Does what I am about to say pass the “1 Corinthians 13 test”?
1 Cor 13:4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
– Is what you are about to say exhibiting patience with the person, situation, God?
– Is it kind?
– What is your motive?  Does this stem from comparing yourself or your mentoree   others, or to bragging about yourself?
– How are you saying this? In humility and with respect?
– Does it consider the other before yourself, do you need to be right about this?
– Are you being overly sensitive or are you annoyed?
– Does the motivation behind it honor God and point to Him?
E: It is Encouraging?
To encourage is to bring courage in. Encouragement is not empty platitudes but inspires by directing us to God’s character and promises. It may even hurt but never harms and is often hard but always good. “Faithful are the wounds of a friend”   Proverbs 27:6
N: is it Necessary?
Do you need to say this?   Are you putting yourself where you do not belong? Are you in the way of a person getting to God? Are you an obstacle or a bridge to God in this circumstance?
T: Is it True?
Does what you are about to say match up with God’s word?  “For everyone who lives on milk is unskilled in the word of righteousness, since he is a child. But solid food is for the mature, for those who have their powers of discernment trained by constant practice to distinguish good from evil.” Hebrews 5:13, 14

Who Knew??

1 Thessalonians 2:7, 8, 12    But we were gentle  among you, like a nursing mother taking care of her own children.  So, being affectionately desirous of you, we were ready to share with you not only the gospel of God but also our own selves, because you had become very dear to us.  For you know how, like a father with his children,  we exhorted each one of you and encouraged you and charged you to walk in a manner worthy of God, who calls you into his own kingdom and glory.

I loved the idea of being a mom.  My heart was full of fear, trepidation and excitement as I awaited the birth of my first child.  My head went from wondering what this child would look like to who he would become as a person.  It was all very exciting!  However, in my imaginings, I skipped the middle part; the years of training up that would shape and mold this person into who he would become.

I had no idea it would be so hard and yet I had more children!  Where were those sweet little  angels I had conjured in my imaginings?   Instead, I gave birth to children with a sin nature and a disposition much like my own.

I was in for a battle that God had clearly prepared me for but that I had not seen coming. But because of my love for them, I fought for them with consistency and discipline even when it would have been easier to just let them do what they wanted.  I fought for them on my knees.

I read every parenting book I could get my hands on,  I poured over the Bible looking for answers. As they got older we discussed the hard decisions and choices and consequences of choosing poorly and the rewards of choosing well.  I talked with them even when I knew they weren’t willing to take my sage advice.  There were days when I wanted to resign from parenting.

The same was true for me with mentoring.  I loved the idea of mentoring.   I imagined my mentoree as a young woman, eager to learn, willing to take steps of faith, sucking up the Word of God like a sponge and becoming a mature, passionate Christian.  Again, I skipped over the middle part.

Who knew the battles that would ensue for the righteous raising of others?   Who knew it would require so much time on my knees?  Who knew the agony and powerlessness of watching another walk down an unwise path? Who knew that through these relationships, my faith and reliance on Jesus would increase and my understanding of his grace and mercy would  multiply?  I did not know then and what I know now is less than I will know tomorrow.

Here is what I do know:  I grow.  Others grow.  We grow together.  God is faithful to the parent, to the child, to the mentor and to the mentoree.

3 John 4   I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.

Oh the joy!!